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COMMUNICATION EXERCISE

December 1st, 2006

1. Have a discussion with each other going over the different areas of your marriage where daily communication has been a problem? What areas of your marriage trip you up? What areas have you conquered?

2. As your husband or wife, how you rate out of 10 (ten be the best), how you speak to build them up? What areas of their lives could they use your cheerleading skills more? What would this look like?

3. <What your actions say are not necessarily negative. Think of several ways you can tell your spouse you love them without using words. Each make your own list separately. Do not share them for a week, but instead, make them a reality. Make a date time a week later to get together and see if the two of you can guess what each other put on their list.

OUR SPOUSE’S "NEEDS" WORK SHEET

November 30th, 2006

 

Print out the following exercise writing your answers on the line for H(husband) or W(wife) – Rate from 1-10 (1 being the most important to you.

Affection – I want my spouse to send cards, write me notes, give gifts, take walks with me, hug and kiss me, call me on the phone just to say “I love you”. H:_________W:__________

Sexual Fulfillment – I want my spouse regularly and enthusiastically to join me I sexual “lovemaking”. H:_________W:__________

Communication – I want my spouse to share thoughts, feelings and experiences in a meaningful way and to listen as I do the same.

H:__________W:__________

Leadership – I want my spouse to take leadership in our home and not leave all the initiative to me. Take the lead in family devotions.

H:_________W:__________

Financial Security – I want to have enough money for us to live comfortably. I want us to be partners in financial decisions.

H:_________W:__________

Recreational Intimacy – I want my spouse to join me in recreational or creative activities we both can enjoy together.

H:_________W:__________

Attractiveness of spouse – I want my spouse to give attention to the way they look. I don’t want them to be careless about appearance.

Honesty and Openness – I want my spouse to tell me the truth and not lie to protect my feelings. H:_________W:__________

Domestic Support – I want my spouse to “have things under control at home.” Each member will do their share, but I want my spouse responsible for seeing that the house is in order.

H:__________W:___________

Security – I want my spouse to strand up for me and defend me when I am verbally attacked by others. I want my spouse to make our home as safe as possible from criminals.

H:__________W:___________

Family Time – I want my spouse to spend quality and quantity time with family. To give time to activities the kids enjoy.

H:__________W:___________

Admiration – I want my spouse to express appreciation for what I do. I want them to focus on my positive accomplishments, not my weaknesses respect me as a responsible person. H:____________W:_____________

Interdependence – I want my spouse to have a life apart from me, aspirations that are uniquely theirs as well as work with me on common goals. H:____________W:_____________

Compiled from an article “What Does my Mate Need” Gary D. Chapman & adapted from “Friends for Life” Bob and Yvonne Turnbull.

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