mbgblog.info

By Dr. Phil

http://www.drphil.com/articles/article/335

You can’t control your partner’s behavior, but you don’t have to set yourself up to get hurt either. Inoculate yourself against infidelity by making sure you’re attentive, involved and plugged in to your marriage.
Suspect Your Partner is Having an Affair?

Remember that people who have nothing to hide, hide nothing. Look for the common sense warning signs: A shift in patterns, accessibility, money, reliability and secrecy. A sudden great interest in grooming or dress, going to the gym, or putting on cologne. Also, remember not to accuse your partner because of unhealthy jealousy, which could hurt the trust.
If You Are Having Problems:

· Turn toward your partner — not away. You absolutely cannot fix a problem inside a relationship by turning outward. All that does is create problems.

· Don’t play games in your head. It is a short step from thought to action.

· Don’t confuse reality with fantasy. We often forget that there’s a difference between falling in love and being in love. You can’t expect a love that grows to be like it was on the first date.

· If you want to have a good partner, be a good partner. Put 100 percent into your marriage.

· Is your marriage in a rut? “Bored people are boring,” says Dr. Phil. Find a passion, get energized, find some time together to rediscover the love and commitment you have for one another.

· Work on your marriage every single day — not just during the bad times. Wake up each day and ask yourself, “What can I do today that will make my marriage better.”

· Make a plan together to renegotiate your relationship. If you’ve gotten off track, it’s never too late to get back to a better place.

· Take care of yourself. Eat healthy, exercise and look your best. Feeling good about yourself will radiate and your spouse will notice.

Formula For Success:
1. Your relationship must be based on a solid, underlying friendship. Friends talk, laugh, share, and do things they’re interested in together. Don’t stop being friends just because you’re each other’s spouse.
2. Your relationship has to meet the needs of the two people involved. Understand what your partner’s needs are so you can meet them. Figure out what your own needs are and communicate them. If your needs are not being met, communicate and negotiate. Don’t let resentment build.

In their recent book The Science of Orgasm, researchers Komisaruk, Beyer-Flores, and Whipple survey the most recent research on orgasm and describe a variety of studies that point to the positive effects of orgasm in an attempt to answer the question; are orgasms good for your health. While these studies are in most cases the only or the first few studies to consider the question, they point to the possibility that orgasm effects go beyond a brief euphoric feeling, and are a good argument for the relationship between sexual health and overall health. Examples of research into health and orgasm include:

• A UK study which looked at the relationship between having frequent orgasms (two or more per week) and mortality in men. At a ten year follow up the researcher found that men who had frequent orgasms had a significantly lower risk of death than men who did not have frequent orgasms.
• Several studies have hypothesized that hormones released during arousal and orgasm, specifically oxytocin and DHEA, may also have protective effects against cancer and heart disease.
• Research has also pointed to the sedative and relaxing effect of oxytocin and other endorphins released during orgasm, which may explain why people use masturbation as a way to get to sleep, and why sex is a great way to deal with stress.
• There have been two studies which have found a connection between men who ejaculate regularly and a reduced incidence of prostate cancer.
• While orgasms can for some people trigger migraine headaches, at least one study has also found that orgasms can relieve migraine headaches.

It’s also worth pointing out that orgasm and sex play in general can be a wonderful form of exercise. Frequent sex and orgasms can bring with it the benefit of other good cardio workouts.

Source:
Komisaruk, B.R., Beyer-Flores, C., & Whipple, B. The Science of Orgasm Baltimore: Johns Hopkins University Press, 2006.

Wednesday, March 05, 2008

Only 44 percent of those surveyed said that they’re satisfied with their sex life, according to a British condom maker that conducted the worldwide survey. Are you part of the 44%?
The Durex Sexual Wellbeing Survey asked 26,000 people worldwide in-depth questions about aspects of their health, well-being, social circumstances, education, beliefs, sex lives and attitudes to sex, the company said Monday in a news release.
While 60 percent of those surveyed said sex is an enjoyable, vital part of life, only 44 percent said they were fully satisfied with that aspect of their lives. The survey found that frequency of sex and sexual satisfaction peaks between the ages of 20 and 34 but people over the age of 65 are still having sex more than once a week.
Eighty-two percent of people who are sexually satisfied said they feel respected by their partner during sex, 36 percent would like more quality time alone with their partner, 31 percent would like more fun and better communication and intimacy with their partner, and 29 percent would like a higher sex drive.
Source: www.postchronicle.com/news/health

BY Sherri

Good news for all those married couples out there who use martial aids, (vibrators, bullets, eggs, etc.) to enhance their love-making— the idea that frequent and regular use of these items causes desensitization or numbness of the clitoris, preventing women from achieving orgasm during intercourse, is false. In fact, continuing to use these items helps women increase their clitoral sensations, improving the quality of their orgasms. It is important for husbands and wives to explore their bodies, discovering what feels good to them. It is learning what feels good that takes us one step closer toward teaching your spouse how to please you.

Since some incorrectly believe that using vibrators desensitizes the clitoris, many couples also fear adding vibrators to their sexual repertoire. While some women may experience some mild discomfort after long or vigorous use of a vibrator, they would also feel this discomfort after a long vigorous regular love making session, yet hurray - the effect is only temporary. Using vibrators also causes no long-term risk of clitoral desensitization. So a woman’s body will respond with pleasure once again to her husband’s fingers, vibrator, partner’s touch, etc.

Some couples express concern over introducing sex toys into their sexual play. They are fearful that their partner may begin to prefer the new stimulation rather than regular intercourse, or that a particular toy could replace them, particularly a toy of a larger size.

Michael Castleman, author of Great Sex: A Man’s Guide to the Secret Principals of Total Body Sex, reminds men that “even the best carpenters use power tools.” Vibrators and dildos etc., may help some woman reach orgasm or orgasm faster, or possibly provide a new and exciting type of stimulation to a couple’s sexual activities. Marital Aids, however, can’t vocalize one’s desire, be emotionally supportive, hug, or kiss a partner, all extremely important qualities to most women in the sexual arena. They are enhancements, not substitutes or replacements that can allow one partner to please the other in a new, different, and/or enhanced way. They can never and will never take the place of the emotional, spiritual human bond and intimacy that you and your partner share.

In addition, only about 30 percent or less, of women orgasm through penile-vaginal intercourse alone. Because the nerve endings are in the clitoris, and not the vagina, using hands, fingers, a vibrator, or even pubic bones and hips to place pressure on these areas are essential to pleasure the clitoris during intercourse or sexual play which increases the chance for a woman to orgasm.

The use of sexual aids can relieve stress (or worry of not being able to achieve an orgasm), save a little time in a pinch, teach each other about the other’s body, and can give their spouse another dimension of pleasure. In a healthy sexual relationship, fears about desensitization or of a partner being “replaced” by a sex toy are nothing to be concerned about. So feel worry free to explore the pleasures that come from exploring your spouse’s body — married couples can vibrate to their heart’s and clitoris’s content.

http://www.christianitytoday.com/mp/2001/001/4.34….

Do You Keep Your Word?

The Importance of Being a Dependable Spouse

By Sheri & Bob Stritof, About.com

According to our Marriage Qualities Survey, being dependable is one of the top ten qualities people look for in a spouse.

When you make a promise to your spouse or say you will do something for your spouse or family and then you don’t keep your word, you are letting your spouse down and hurting your marriage.

Keeping your word and following through on your promises helps to reinforce the trust that your spouse has in you. Not keeping your word tells your spouse that you simply don’t care.

Tips for When You Do Not Keep Your Word or Follow Through on Your Promises

· If you decide you can’t keep your promise, be honest and say so. It is important that you are up front with the reason you can’t keep your word.

· If you changed your mind and don’t want to keep your promise, you need to be honest with your spouse about why you think you made the promise in the first place and why you don’t want to keep your word.

· If you broke a promise because you are forgetful, consider using some of the high tech ways to be reminded of things you said you would do. You can receive email alerts, popup reminders from your calendar program on your computer, and receive text or voice reminder messages on your cell phone.

You can give your spouse permission to remind you, too, with the understanding that you won’t consider the reminder to be nagging.