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By MORT FERTEL
If a marriage has problems, the chances are good that trust has been broken. And yet, trust is a central component for a successful marriage. So how do you restore broken trust? And how do you do it without spending months in marriage counseling?
Trust can be broken in so many ways. The most common culprits are an affair, hidden addictions, lying, and financial secrecy.
But if you look deep into the heart of a distrusting spouse, it goes beyond the usual trust busters. Trust is weakened in a relationship when a spouse is frequently late, unreliable, or insensitive. Hiding a few empty beer cans can damage trust between you. It doesn’t take much to shake trust.
But it sure takes a lot to rebuild it!
We live in a microwave world of fast food, express delivery, and speedy-print. And so we figure, if we lost trust in an instant, there must be a way to rebuild it in an instant too. NOT!
Trust is built one small step at a time. There’s no other way. There’s no Herculean event that can deliver instant-trust. In fact, by definition, trust is about CONSISTENCY. That’s what it means to trust someone to be able to PREDICT their behavior. Predictability is a function of repetition. Repetition comes with TIME.
Think about it. When you trust someone, it means you can RELY on them. But before you can rely on someone, you must depend on them time and again and NOT be disappointed. If you’re disappointed, even once, the trust is broken.
I often compare the building of a relationship to the building of a house — both happen one brick at a time. And every brick is significant because it strengthens the foundation. The stronger the foundation, the more room you have for error. For example, how damaging is it to ruin one brick when you’re working on the 3rd floor of a house? Its no big deal, right? You have a strong foundation, the house is in tact, you clean up the mess, and you build on.
Its like that in a relationship. If you have a strong foundation, you can make a mistake without ruining everything. Its no big deal. You can move on.
But trust is DIFFERENT. One mistake kills you. Because trust is about CONSISTENCY.
Building trust is NOT analogous to building a house; its more like climbing a ladder. You dont have a foundation to support you. If you slip, you fall all the way to the bottom.
That’s how trust works. It’s unforgiving.
So if you’re trying to restore trust in your marriage, and you’re expected to meet your spouse for dinner before your marriage counseling appointment at 6:15 p.m., dont arrive at 6:19 p.m.. For you, 6:19 p.m. might be a matter of 4 minutes and no big deal. But to your spouse it might be about reliability, and you may have just slipped all the way to the bottom. You just broke whatever pattern of consistency you built prior to arriving late. And now you have to start all over again.
How do you rebuild trust? You make and keep promises. Make and keep. Make and keep. Make and keep. Over and over again. AND DON’T MISS! Nothing destroys trust faster than making and BREAKING a promise.
To be consistent (to build trust), you need lots of opportunities to come-through. So create them for yourself.
Honey, I’ll pick up some milk before I come home. And then do it!
I’ll meet you at our marriage counseling appointment at 9 a.m.. And then do it!
I’ll read it by tomorrow. And then do it!
I’ll say it differently next time. And then do it!
Look for opportunities to make and keep promises. Thats your opportunity to build trust. Like a ladderclimb one rung at a time. It takes time. Theres no short-cut. And you can’t slip. You have to stay focused.
And just to be clear, the little things count big. If trust is about consistency, then it doesn’t matter what you promise. Just promise and come through.
Don’t think that just because trust came crashing down in one dramatic event (an affair or whatever) that you have to reestablish it with one dramatic event too. You can rebuild trust by making and keeping SMALL promises over an extended period of time.

http://www.swnewsherald.com/online_contentcrf/2006/07/072706crf_hfammar_trust.php

The main difference between an egg vibrator and a bullet vibrator is the shape and size of the toy it self. The egg vibrator sex toy has an oblong shape,(spherical egg shape) and the bullet vibrator sex toy is long and slim. They both have basically the same functions and the same create the same sensation and ultimately reach the same goal. They are both designed to aid in clitoral stimulation and are definitely the best and the most affective clitoral stimulators. Both items in actuality are mini vibrators, both usually about 2 inches long that vibrate and create a tantalizing feeling. Most of them have several speeds from a low murmur to a high pitch buzz

Both vibrating eggs and bullets are tiny, portable and quite discreet and making them more quiet then a regular vibrator so they are good for travel or for use when a couple has children near by, or friends or relatives visiting.

To use a vibrating egg or vibrating bullet as a sex toy for couples, hold it firmly or loosely (depending on your own sensitivity) against your clitoris while you are having sex. This works very well while in missionary position because the sex toy is so small that it does not interfere with your partner’s thrusting motions. Many women like to rub their clitoris during sex with a bullet to get the stimulation they need to climax with their spouse. It takes little effort since the vibrator does all the work. During intercourse, the bullet may be a better choice since it is easier to grab a hold of because it is longer. Eggs and bullets are an excellent first sex toy for the shy women since she may not be very verbally open with her sexuality and would like to explore it further before verbalizing what she needs to her husband.
A bullet may be used to snuggle it into your clitoral hood, inside your vaginal lips right on top of your clitoris. A bullet vibrator works well in this position because it is slim and will make a direct connection with the clitoris and there for make for better stimulation.

An egg vibrator, works well if you let it lie between your vaginal folds, in the space between your clitoris and your vaginal opening. Turn on the egg at a slow speed at first and press it into you like you are pushing a button. Now explore with different intensities of power. Move the mini sex toy around and find your favourite spot. These clitoral stimulator sex toys are so versatile thanks to their small size, they can be put into any crease crevasse of fold that feels the best for you!

So it is really up to you, egg verses bullet, why not have the fun of trying them both!! (:

I personally like the Turbo 8 Bullet hands down better than any egg, or any other bullet.  It has the length which makes it easier to grip, it has a textured sleeve that can be used or not, and it has many speeds, so depending on a woman’s sensitivity on a particular day, it can adjust.  Also, it is very good for multiple orgasms because you can turn it way down and change the position for a while and then once recovered from the first orgasm, you can redirect and turn up the speed to make up an loss of feeling from the first orgasm.  The bullet is also better for inserting because it is longer and can go deeper without inserting the cord.

Sherri

By Sherri

Let’s face it, marriage is tough. But what do we do when it becomes unbearable. What about when we don’t want to even wake up to face the next day? Or when we are no longer a valid piece of society? Often our marital relationships can bring us to a point of total social breakdown, not maybe medically, but personally – when we just can’t seem to accomplish anything, we are spinning around in our heads unable to do anything. What then?

Well, if there is an absence of abuse, to either yourself, and or your children, what I first want to say is: As Christians, IT IS AN NON NAGOTIONABLE MATTER! Now, in saying that, don’t lose hope, there is HOPE to be had!

Your issue may be complicated by one thing or a number of things. We’ve all heard of mid-life crisis, and yes it affects us all. Somewhere between round 35 and 50 years young, many of us start new jobs, become vegetarians and start fitness life-styles, other s become restless in their relationships and wonder if anyone else in this big world would “WANT” them other than their spouse. Many of us feel the need to have butterflies again, feel the urgency in our groins that we once felt but seldom feel now with our spouses.

The good news is “your normal” – the not so good news is it will take some work to get your marriage back in shape – and that needs to start NOW. Even if you feel there is no hope, even if you have fallen in love with someone else, even if you have already left your marriage emotionally or have nine out of out of ten toes already out the door – it is NOT too late!!

I know there are some of you that think, “no one can understand the situation I’m in..”, or “I no longer or never really was attracted to my spouse in the first place!”, or “…but this new man or women understands me, he or she is SO hot, it feels so right when I’m with him/her, I never had that before, I don’t want THIS to be all there is, etc.” Well you are still not alone! Whether you are a Christian or not, temptation is always lurking around the corner, unfortunately as Christians, the devil is dedicated to destroying your marriage, when he doesn’t bother as much with non-Christians , as they are doing a good enough job screwing their marriages up on their own.

Before you even consider the idea of leaving your spouse, sit down and make a list. NO, not the sappy list of all the good things you married him or her for, but rather a list of the things you would like him or her to change. Now these changes have to be obtainable, they can’t be “I want my spouse to be four inches taller”, or “I want him or her to be a brain surgeon” when they are presently a bartender. Instead, maybe your list will look more like this:

1. I would like my spouse to be 20 lbs lighter

2. I would like my spouse to dress more stylishly

3. I would like my spouse to get a new hair cut

4. I would like my spouse to be more outgoing

5. I would like my spouse to stop drinking so much

6. I would like my spouse to be more open with his/her feelings

7. I would like my spouse to plan more special times with me

8. I would like my spouse to be more experimental in the bedroom

9. I would like my spouse to take a greater interest in our kids

10. I would like my spouse to acquire a better paying or prestigious job

11. I would like my spouse to simply get a job

12. I would like my spouse to develop a more physical life style

13. I would like my spouse to be more sexy

14. I would like my spouse to share more of my interests

15. I would like my spouse to be more emotionally connected to me

16. I would like my spouse to be OK with me developing myself

17. I would like to be able to spend more time with friends outside me marriage

18. Etc.

These requests are reasonable! We all have desires that need to be met, and as long as they are biblically sound, and we feel loved in our relationship, they can be obtained.

I know, I know, but you married to a four foot tall hairy beast with no teeth. With a little Nair, a good Ortho, and a pair of elevator shoes you are on the road to a happier life than you are experiencing now. Really, there are few things that can’t be changed now-a-days; our marriages are worth the best efforts we can give them, right?

With the help of Pastors, prayer, Life Coaches, Personal Trainers, Anti-Depressants, and support groups, there is a lot of help out there for those of us who are willing to change and become more of what our spouse needs us to be. What is cool, as most of these changes affect us personally in a great way too, it is just hard to let our pride go, and find the love we need to submit ( in the real sense of the word), to our spouses.

“But I don’t want to lose myself for my spouse!”, and “Why should I change for him or her, he/she should love me like I am, he/she should love me like “Jesus loves the church”. Well, it would be great if our spouses could see us with the eyes of Jesus, in all our glory, regardless of our bellies hanging over our pants, all our bad habits, our inability to land a descent job, our lack of cleanliness, the overwhelming stench that has seemingly grown feet and walked from a corroding hockey bag to all corners of our 5000 square foot home. We are human we have needs but we still need to firstly put the Lord forefront in our lives and marriage, and secondly we need to put our spouses first and fill their reasonable desires even before our own.

So once you have completed your list, and you have allowed your spouse to compile their own list, you need to either together, or each of you on your own, or with the help of a respectable friend, find the possible solutions to these requests and get a move on. Maybe you can even turn some of the more easily obtainable requests like hairstyles and new wardrobes, into date day/nights?

One day I heard my pastor tell this story in church of this couple who had come to him who wanted a divorce; they said they just couldn’t move ahead with the marriage anymore. The pastor told them that they were to pray together for the next 7 nights without ceasing, and then come back to him if they still felt they wanted to divorce. Well the couple never came back and today they are still together and much more happily so. There are many things we can do to help our marriages, but ultimately God is the best healer of our marriage! The hard part is dropping the wheel and letting Him drive the course.

Alternatives: Latex-free Sex Toys

It may be obvious, but it’s worth saying that if you’re concerned about the potential for latex allergies, know that you’re allergic to latex, or suspect that you might be allergic to latex you should avoid contact with latex. Fortunately, avoiding latex doesn’t mean avoiding sex toys altogether. In fact, there are many alternatives to latex. We’ve listed a few of the most popular ones below.

Plastic Sex Toys

Plastic is a popular material, especially for vibrators. It’s durable, transfers vibrations well and plastic vibrators are available in an almost infinite number of shapes, sizes and colors. Unlike latex toys, plastic sex toys are typically hard and inflexible, so if you’re looking for a direct replacement for latex you might want to try one of the more realistic materials.

Silicone Sex Toys

Silicone is a high quality material that can be exposed to chemicals and even boiling water without effect. Silicone is soft and supple, hypoallergenic and is a good substitute for latex. The only downside is that silicone tends to be more expensive than many other materials.

Jelly Sex Toys

Jelly is a common sex toy material. Jelly is popular because it is relatively inexpensive, easy to manufacture and comes in virtually any color. It’s also soft and flexible, the degree of which depends on the manufacturing process, and is a good material for lifelike toys.

Cyberskin Sex Toys

Cyberskin was developed as a response to an increasing demand for realistic sex toys. Cyberskin looks and feels similar to human skin, and allergic reactions to it are extremely rare.

Glass Sex Toys

Glass as a sex toy material is a recent phenomenon and has become a popular “specialty” material. Glass dildos are available in brilliant colors and beautiful designs, and although they are on the high-end of the price range glass dildos or glass vibrators last a very long time and can be sterilized with boiling water or chemical cleaners with no ill effects.

With Thanks: http://www.mybodyvibes.com/guidance/qa/article127.html