So we have spoken about how great sex toys can be for a marriage, but now let’s talk about when sex toys shouldn’t be used.
Just like most things in life, moderation and good sense are always good practices. For instance, if sex toys are used every time you and your spouse begin an intimate encounter (unless when needed for medical purposes), then it is time to step back and make sure your sex toys are not replacing your spouse. After all, sex toys are to be enhancements, not replacements, although there are temporary situations and medical situations when these types of “replacements” are necessary; like for instance:
1. Post cancer radiation/ chemo therapy patience that have experienced severe dryness, swelling, etc.
2. Penile Dysfunction
3. Extreme Stress which interferes with the marriage bed (if combined with psychological helps too)
4. Pregnancy - We are talking (with doctor’s permission only) clitoral stimulation as dildos (used both vaginally or anally, can cause premature births and many other medical conditions related with pregnancy.
5. STD’s - Sex Toys can be a safe way to continue an intimate relationship with ones spouse when there are issues with STD’s., etc.
Masturbation is probably one of the areas that causes the most negative related issues when it come to Sex Toys. It is of our belief that sex toys should not be used alone and without ones spouse as this breeds sexual problems of many kinds including sexual addictions, and even pornography dependencies.
It can be fun however, in the presence of our spouse and with their consent, to use sex toys in the arena of masturbation. This is a delicate balance however; as many women feel uncomfortable performing in front of their spouse without their participation regardless of the fact that most men agree that they love to watch their wives participate in this manner.
On the other hand, many women (but not all women) feel excluded while watching their husbands masturbate in front of them, and can be left with the illusion that their husbands would choose a device over them, thus causing hurt feelings and breaking down intimacy - the very thing we are trying to build up. (These feeling can also occur from the husband watching his wife). This is why it is so VERY important to have open dialogue with your spouse when it comes to masturbation - choose your sex toys together and agree about the ways in which you may want to use them. Don’t just leave it there - check in with one another and honestly discuss if this is a love enhancing activity or if it causes hurt and distance.
Like many things, there are also exceptions to the masturbation rule. In the cases where spouses are separated do to work situations, sex toys and a telephone or internet service can be a great way to keep the sexual communication open and also keep your spouse satisfied and less likely to be swayed by temptation. This is especially important in military homes (I know some of you are saluting this BLOG as I speak! ) Regardless, using sex toys in this way should not be secretive or used without the other spouse’s knowledge and this can create distrust in a relationship.
There is a danger of using sex toys that are designed after actual people. Not only does this open our selves to unhealthy images, but it supports some of the largest industries of pornography around. We at My Beloved’s Garden do not sell these endorsed items and encourage others not to purchase them!
Sex toys that are being inserted into ones body should always be covered with a condom for several reasons:
Some toys are porous which means they can hold onto to bacteria. It is very important to keep your toys clean and not store them in air tight containers but rather put them into a fabric bag or cotton pillow case once cleaned and thoroughly dried.
Many sex toys are made with PVC, and although nothing has been conclusive of whether or not they are a potential danger, we should still take caution. A rule of thumb though; always throws out your toy when signs of deteriation or wear and tear is present.
There is however the worry free toy, the glass phallus. These toys are not only beautifully designed, smooth, non porous, and easily cleaned, but they can be heated or cooled for your pleasure. This truly is a safe remarkable toy.
So get out there and communicate with one another, have fun choosing out your new toy together, remember moderation and cleanliness, and most of all hold each other in high esteem as you have the time of your life playing, sharing and exploring the wonderful “Christian” world of SEX!
